We used to laugh at the videos of so-called “Karens” who would scream at workers when they didn’t get their way. But the number of Karens seems to be increasing, and it’s no longer funny.
Evernote raised prices and announced improvements. That is not good enough for some users who are unhappy and find no value in the new additions.
I subscribe to Sirius XM, and their forums are full of complainers who wish the service would play their favorite songs or fire a DJ they don’t like.
Someone complained to the local TV weather guy on Twitter for not predicting a recent storm.
And, of course, the complainers extend to politics.
I have no scientific evidence, but I think we have seen more ‘negative Nancys’ with the advent of talk radio, where people get to debate public policy and social media. But the impact of toxic complainers is more than just an irritation.
Research shows that when a person consistently finds fault, the neurotransmitters in the brain go through a neural “rewiring,” reinforcing negative thought patterns, making it easier for unhappy thoughts to repeat themselves and leaving little room for the more positive feelings of gratitude, appreciation, and well-being. An article in the Harvard Business Journal says, “A continuous cycle of negative thoughts may even cause damage to the hippocampus, the part of the brain used for problem-solving and cognitive functioning. Over time, complainers become negativity addicts, attracted to the drama that comes with a complaining attitude.”
Sometimes we have to complain. I’m a pretty easy-going guy, but recently I was in a hospital for a test. The tech was rude. I was lied to and treated so poorly that I nearly walked out. I could have stomped my feet and raised my voice, but a few days later, I described my experience with the medical professional who referred me to the testing center. A week later, I received an apology letter saying they spoke to the tech and coached him on how to treat patients.
In the past, when a person treated me poorly in a restaurant or store, I said something like, “Excuse me, have I done something to annoy you?” They usually get the idea.
When I am ready to get angry in a situation like this, I try to pause and put myself in the other person’s shoes. I try to say something positive before I share my concerns. Then, when I do, I make sure my tone is calm and don’t persist if the situation does not improve.
If we all worked at being more civil in all situations, there would be less tension. Let’s give it a try.
Dave Edwards Media 